Manic Monday + Food Guilt

Just like my Monday, this post is a little manic.

First up, fun pictures from the weekend!

Last Friday, my company took our department on a mountain biking team building event. It’s an understatement to say that I freaking loved it!! So much so that this past Saturday, I woke up bright and early to rent a bike and go riding.



I’m currently  looking around to find a well-priced used bike. They say that Durango is a “mecca” for mountain biking and I can’t wait to explore and get better at it!

Fast forward to this morning. Every working day for the past 6 weeks, I’ve woken up at 6:05. Most of the time I wake up to my alarm but sometimes I wake up naturally at 5:55. This morning I woke up on my own, stretched, and realized something was not right. It was BRIGHT out. I turned over and the clock read… 8:15!! Considering I’m supposed to be at work at 8, this was not good.

I occasionally suffer from sleep apnea and I had it bad last night. I lost count of the amount of times I woke up gasping for air, and I must have been a bit dramatic too because I remember Sampson being quite frightened at one point! For those of you who don’t know, sleep apnea is when you stop breathing during your sleep for anywhere from a few seconds to a minute. You then gasp loudly for air and sometimes wake yourself up. I tend to freak out when I wake up and can’t breath…I’m so caught up in the moment I forget that I’ve gone through this before and will be able to breath when I just settle down.

Sleep apnea can be caused by being overweight and drinking alcohol- back when I fell into both of those categories I had it a lot more often. Now it is a rarity and I’m not sure why I have it once in a while. I guess when I finally did get to sleep without interruptions I PASSED OUT HARD and turned off my alarm without realizing it!

I also found out from my landlord that a watermelon rind I put out last night attracted a bear…who strung garbage all over the place. Whoops, I should know better!

Anyway – it was definitely a manic morning. I rushed to get ready and get to work…I only ended up being an hour late! I chugged some coffee and felt good to go…until about 11:00. I swear today I was the most tired I had ever been. I couldn’t think or focus and I felt like I could fall asleep at my desk.

So here comes the next manic thing about today. Less than 24 hours after posting about our Sugar Shakedown, I had a cupcake. It was a co-worker’s birthday and I knew as soon as I saw them that I would have one.

I could say that I was overly tired and therefore my self-control wasn’t quite on point. I could say I’m PMSing and chocolate sounded dreamy. I could say that I thought the sugar would help wake me up. However, all of those things would be bullshit. I wanted the cupcake so I ate it, it’s as simple as that …no lame excuses needed.


Instead of feeling guilty or bad or disappointed in myself…I enjoyed every damn bit of that delicious cupcake and was quite happy. I mean come on – chocolate cupcake with whipped chocolate mousse frosting?? GET IN MAH BELLY.

I’ve said it before and I will say it again: I honestly believe that the guilt people put themselves through over a so-called “bad” food choice is worse than eating the actual food. Would shaming myself turn back time and make me not eat the cupcake? NO. I can’t change what happened and you can’t change what happens when you decide to eat half a pizza or a pint of ice cream. WHO CARES. You wanted it, you ate it, and you enjoyed it. Go easy on yourself. Negative thoughts are picked up by our bodies – we are how we treat ourselves.

I feel the same way about when people try to “erase” a food choice by exercise punishment. You know the “I ate so much last night I need to run 2 extra miles today” or “I can’t believe I indulged like that, I need to workout twice today.” You should workout because you and enjoy it and because it is good for your body – not to punish yourself. End of story.

Food guilt has no place in my thoughts or my life. In learning to accept myself and love myself and live for my health and not my appearance, I have decided being kind to myself is the best way I can treat myself right. I encourage you to try it as well!

Miraculously, I made it through the afternoon without falling asleep. My husband has been out of town since Thursday morning so after work I met him at his work for a hug and a kiss (he got home this afternoon)…only to find out there was a surprise for me at home! See ya hubby, I want my present.


mirror fail, it says 18 I swear!

I’m officially a Manning fan. Steven went to the Broncos game last night and got me this – woohoo looks like I have my Sunday outfit picked out from now till the Superbowl, score!

Even though I was dog tired, I got in a quick tabata workout. 12 minutes of sweating and I felt pretty good…hopefully it helps me sleep tonight. Tonight’s moves were toe taps, plank jumps, low jacks, plank jacks, burpees, mountain climbers, jumping jacks, jump rope, jumping lunges, side shuffle, jumping high squats, and high knees. LOTS of jumping tonight, definitely got my heart rate up!

IMG_7347Trust me, the filter was necessary 

So yesterday, I promised you little recipes or ideas throughout the week for how to satisfy a sweet tooth or sugar craving without added sugar.

Time for the first sweet treat of the week!

Picture courtesy of Kristina (thanks!)


Choco-Coco Banana Bites

  • 1-2 bananas, sliced into rounds
  • 2 tbsp. coconut oil, melted
  • 1 tbsp. cocoa powder
  • 1 packet stevia
  • Shredded coconut (optional)
  1. Whisk together oil, cocoa, and stevia until mixed. Taste and adjust any components to your taste.
  2. Drizzle over banana rounds, sprinkle with coconut if desired, and freeze until chocolate sauce hardens. Enjoy these tasty bites!

I realize 2 bananas and 2tbsp of oil is a lot but you don’t have to eat it all in one sitting! Keep them in the freezer until a sweet craving hits and pop a few for a cool and satisfying treat.

Whew, so that’s my day. Anyone else have a manic Monday?


3 thoughts on “Manic Monday + Food Guilt

  1. FYI that looks like the biggest cupcake EVER… I am one of those “ate a lot gotta work out hard” people… I dont really do it as punishment though- I accept that certain foods will do certain things to my body and if I dont want that to happen I will have to work a little harder than if I were to skip whatever treat it is that Im wanting… I consciously decide before I eat something if it will mean I have to burn more calories and if it is worth the extra bit of workout… I love to workout so thats not really a problem anyway…

  2. Yikes; sounds like a crazy busy/tiring day! I wish you a night of boundless sleep and comfort!! (: Yesterday, I went to the Honda dealer my uncle manages and, to replace the used car I owned for a day, purchased a 2012 Civic (my new baby!!). I absolutely LOVE it and definitely see myself having it years and years from now – so all of that to say, I’ve just been walking on air since yesterday haha. Hope everyone has a great Tuesday, as well!! Happy and healthy wishes to you, Shelley. (:

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